In Retrospect

I sat on the edge of my bed in semi-darkness. It was night time, and most of the world was asleep. The wind was gentle, and I could hear it rustle the leaves of the trees outside.

My face buried in my hands, I sighed as I thought about my past. All the mistakes I have made, the wrong choices, the wrong things I have said. I thought about all the people I have hurt, all the beautiful things I have destroyed and the time and energy I wasted on senseless things.

In despair, I asked “Am I a bad person?”

The breeze suddenly grew stronger. I could not feel it in my room but I could hear it outside.

Instantly, my mind was filled with the good choices I had made, the people I have helped and the skills I have acquired and polished over the years. I could remember the beautiful things I have created, the good things I have done and all those moments of selflessness. I could remember the times I rose above my fears and desires and did what was right.

Smiling, I looked up from my hands at the faint light outside. I could see the trees move now, encouraging me.

“So then, am I a good person?”

The wind was starting to grow gentle. I could hear the rustling of the leaves die down.

The bad memories merged with the good. They ceased being black and white and instead brought forth a glorious world of color. Everything I had done, all the right things and a wrong things were part of a larger process. There was growth and there was decay. Life and Death. Chaos and Order.

It was all part of the journey that had brought me to where I am today, and will lead me on to tomorrow.

“So I am neither good nor bad.” I said, as the wind became a mere whisper.

“No” it replied, “You are so much more.”


So much more…


~ by Prageeth Thoradeniya on May 15, 2012.

2 Responses to “In Retrospect”

  1. Love this one.

  2. Your blog posts are so awesome.. 🙂

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