Out of thought

Real thoughts flood in from time to time; it is a sensation that I am growing increasingly unfamiliar to. Sometimes it is difficult to phrase sentences in my own mind. As I have come to understand I am slowly losing control of m thought faculties.

So this is what it means to be insane.

I feel like I am floating through an endless void, in which there are no colors nor shapes. Occasionally, I would see something, perhaps a glimmer of something that I knew in the past or maybe a figment of my imagination. A real thought, I would tell myself. But such things are rare now.

Vaguely I can remember what it meant to have many real thoughts. It was a fun and interesting experience. Everything was new and so many possibilities opened up in the world around me. There were so many choices to make. It was a vivid experience.

But now choice is a rare thing. It only comes to me once in awhile. There are not many choices I can make. There are simply not many thoughts left.

I guess as human beings we can think of only so many things in our lives. Maybe we only have a limited amount of thoughts available at our disposal. So I guess it is natural for a heavy thinker like me to run out of them eventually.

It makes me a little jealous of the people who still have thoughts left in their minds. Especially the ones who do not think.

The ones who prefer to suspend their thought and engage themselves in mindless activities. Like you.

I’ve been watching you for sometime you know. The way you spend days watching TV, reading gossip magazines, chatting away with your friends about other people whom you have no business with. I’ve seen it all. I figured you have a lot of thoughts inside that head of yours.

It was too simple to drug your drink and bring you here while you were unconscious. I was very careful not to hurt you don’t worry.

I had to tie you down because I knew you’re gonna put up a fight.  The gag is because you will be screaming.

You know the thing about thoughts, is that everyone always told me that “It’s all in your head man. It’s all in your head.” So I figured if I’m gonna get your thoughts I’m going to have to use this drill. Yes that’s right. I’m sure you were wondering why I had it with me all this time.

Well I have never seen a thought physically before, can you imagine how excited I am!

Oh and I had to wait until you woke up because when you’re unconscious there are no thoughts in your head you see.

You will have to be awake throughout the entire process unfortunately.

“Just a simple operation really.”

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~ by Prageeth Thoradeniya on May 11, 2012.

One Response to “Out of thought”

  1. This is creepy..

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