Monologue 001

“So what is it then?”

 

Her eyes drilled into mine, with that intent gaze that no mortal soul could possibly dodge. It was the demand that was held there at that moment, frozen perfectly like a fossil in stone. The demand to know the truth.

 

“Are you going to answer my question?”

 

I did not know what to say. I avoided her eyes as always, avoiding the eyes that sought the truth so intentionally. The eyes that I never could bear to look into, although that is what I desired the most.

 

“I don’t know if I can. It’s complicated.”

 

“Everything is always complicated with you.” She said, with a hint of frustration. I am surprised she held it there at that level. If I were her I would be shaking myself by my hair, demanding the truth as I should have done many years ago.

 

“I don’t want to lie to you. I don’t want to make things up.”

 

“Then you might as well tell me what exactly is in your mind.”

 

“Do you love me?” I asked her suddenly, hoping to startle her, catch her off guard at least, to buy me more time.

 

“Do you?” Of course she had anticipated it. She smiled.

 

We sat there in silence, alone in my room staring at each other. Her gaze was mocking me. I was not enjoying this at all. I wanted to get out of here.

 

“You can’t avoid me forever.”

 

“At least for now I will… I can’t take this anymore.”

 

“Yes you can. You’ve been craving for the past decade. I know exactly how you feel.”

 

She did? I looked down on the dusty floor again. A spider crawled into a corner.

 

“How long?” I asked, my voice unsteady.

 

“A few more. After that you will be satisfied. But that is dependant entirely on you.” She was beginning to fade away now. Illusions do not last forever.

 

“Then I will wait.” I sighed, and lay back down on my bed, secretly wishing her to join me right then, to feel her naked flesh on mine.

 

I closed my eyes. I was alone again in the dimly lit room. I could hear the spiders scuttle about.

 

“I will wait.”

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~ by Prageeth Thoradeniya on September 20, 2008.

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