Loneliness and Difference

 “From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.”

– “Alone” Edgar Allan Poe

Do not jump into conclusions by reading this. It is merely an observation I have made.

 What does it mean to be different? 

Is it something strange? An anomaly? Something overly contrastable from the majority? Are not we all different from each other? I understand that most people share similar qualities and common goals… but a few of us do not. We have different tastes and interests. Sometimes this difference can alienate us from the rest of the herd.

 It gets awfully lonely in the forest sometimes. 

Sometimes, unable to deal with this loneliness, we try to fit in with the rest of the herd; mimicking their actions and emulating their thoughtstreams. For a while, we are content but after sometime we realize that we are not. We, after all, were merely living in an illusion we created and such illusions are not meant to last. For us, happiness is in truth and not in illusion. Perhaps that is why one such as I, does not find happiness in illusionary things for a very long time. Interesting.

Realizing our follies, we revert back to our original selves, re-establishing our original behavior and re-realizing our true desires or goals. Then the herd begins to see through us. Some of them may accept us, and some of them may not. Either way, the process of slow isolation begins, initiated by the herd or by oneself. Once again, we find ourselves alone.

Yet among the herd we find others who are like us, who think a little differently than the rest of them. And with such entities we form bonds, and such bonds are built on our common desires. Such bonds last for a longer time, for they are based on un-pretended reality.

The isolation transforms into something else as such others move away from the herd with us. Together we form our own herd of sorts, a herd of hermits. And together we do as we please, unhindered by the norms of the larger herd.

However, we are all connected as we our actions influence the thoughtstreams and the eventstreams of everyone, hermits and the herd included. The hermits are connected to the herd and vice versa, though they may not be of the same community. The hermits prefer to observe, both the herd and the hermits themselves, which may be the reason for us hermits to come up with ideas deemed strange or horrific depending upon context.

But truly, we are alone. As individuals, we live in our own worlds despite of our “common” attributes. We face our challenges and joys alone. We face life and death alone. The others may influence us, but if you strip away that influence, you see that all decisions made in your life are made by you. You always have the power to agree or to oppose. You are alone. Are we to despise such loneliness or embrace it and what it has to offer? Can you reject the degree of independence and power it has to offer?

The powers of unbounded thought and freedom to enjoy as one pleases free of the hindrances of society’s norms and forced thoughts; I find this so seductive. But the wise would know that all actions have consequences: Cause and Effect. Therefore, freewill does come with a price. But for one such as I, it is a price that is worth its weight.

What use is there in rejecting reality? As I said before, illusions will never last.

[Authors note: I wrote this as an observation. I have no intention of insulting anyone or their goals. I do not judge Loneliness and Difference to be “good” or “bad”.  Such things depend on context. Feel free to express your thoughts on the comments. I look forward to it.]

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~ by Prageeth Thoradeniya on March 22, 2008.

2 Responses to “Loneliness and Difference”

  1. haha if you did write this by yourself…. then respect to you machan… this is clearly an in deepth understanding of life…..

  2. It’s my work 100%!! I borrowed a poem from Poe though.

    Thanks!

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