Hello guys, girls and google!
Sorry for not writing for a long long long time. I simply wasn’t in the mood to write anything. All my writing had pretty much been limited to Youtube comments, emails and facebook group stuff. Even so, they were mere paragraphs, single sentences or an enthusiastic yet short “LMAO!” (in the case of a Youtube comment).
So I decided to enlighten you of my latest endeavors and other lovely things.
Some of you know that I am a vegetarian since Aprillish. To those of you who do not know this, it may come across as a shock. Well to be honest I still drool a bit when I see meat (old habits die hard), but I figured out that we can actually do away with our old natures. So why am I a vegetarian? Several reasons of course:
1. I don’t want any Animals to be killed because of my greed. I eat meat because I am greedy for it, not because I need meat to live. How selfish am I to kill an animal for my own greed? People say that since I don’t kill it, it’s not a big deal. But then again, I PAY the guy who kills it even though I don’t kill anything myself. This just means that I don’t have the balls to kill something, so I get some other guy to do it. What does that prove?
I understand that many small animals are killed during farming vegetables and that some people consider Plants to be sentient beings too. But I need to eat something to live. I just want to minimize the loss of lives on my account.
2. To control my desire for food. I’ve always been a very greedy person, and eat like a pig often. But I realized that I’ve been greedy enough and that I need to get over it. So I began this regime of physical torture (it’s difficult to not eat that steaming prawn dish sitting inches from you… you know?) and mental discipline. But all of that hard work does pay off in the end. There is this strange sense of satisfaction and well-being in it. A sense of contentment. Hmm…
To sum that up: I used to live to eat, but now I eat to live.
Before people start getting defensive, I’m not telling any of you to become a vegetarian. That’s your choice. I am just showing you why I am one.
Well aside from that, I’ve been spending sometime outdoors these days… Mostly in my garden at home. It’s so refreshing to re-connect with the natural world, after working for hours on the computer and seeing nothing but man-made stuff. It’s a good way to relieve stress, since I can just “be there” in the garden and not in the tangle of random problems.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you should run away from your problems. One must face one’s problems. But it’s nice to take a break once in awhile. It also helps you to see things a little more objectively, as well as to put things in perspective.
During these few weeks, I have realized that we humans have so many gifts in our lives… yet we don’t use half of it. Instead we want more. The media doesn’t help either, advocating consumerism. Everyone is trying to sell happiness to us… saying “this is the best” “you won’t be satisfied without this”. And we gullible sheep fall for it. We’re all victims of this madness.
I don’t watch much TV now, nor play many video games. I prefer to spend my time resurrecting old hobbies that used to give me so much joy and meaning. How many of these old habits have we discarded simply because society and media said that they were “useless” or “childish” or “boring”? We’ve wanted to fit in so much, that we’ve killed bits of ourselves… cutting pieces of ourselves off to fit into the slots “mainstream” made for us.
Can we grow these pieces back?
Peace out brothas, sistas and porcupines!
Prageeth
So I know I’ve been a bit of a jerk since I’ve not been writing much these days on my FB notes or blog. In the case of my FB notes, you know I have poorly substituted my original works with those little quiz like things people put on their usual FB notes. Yes yes I’m totally at fault for this. I’ve just not been myself lately you know?
Hmm so let me start up with the updates. The cook at our place went nuts. By nuts I mean crazy. She’s only been here for about two months. Turns out she had been sick earlier. It was quite a spectacle albeit a little scary. But I wasn’t too phased since I’m slightly crazy myself, although I do not strip and run around naked like she did. In any case, she was taken to the famous Angoda Asylum where she is now under professional care. I’m happy for her, because she is a nice lady and she should get her sanity back. I was worried that my family may have shipped me along with her to Angoda, but fortunately I have been overlooked.
Madness aside, I got FL Studio 8, a nice little software used to make music… and like my earlier days of musicness, I spend time making random loops and beats… This particular version has a voice recording capability so I tried my hand at some freestyle rapping which was hilarious… and will be up on youtube soon enough. The problem with the recording is that the output kinda bleeds into the input, which is a bit of a hassle. I’m working on fixing it but as far as I see, the fault is with the ASIO4ALL drivers that I installed. Hmm….
Anyway back to the main point of this note: I have decided to name this week my personal “JUNK RIDDANCE” week, where I shall be getting rid of large amounts of junk. I’ve already given out most of my toys to random kids and will be doing the same to my little plastic dinosaurs which I found yesterday.
And the sheer amount of junk I have collected is insane! It ranges from random pieces of metal, to rocks, bones (including a shin bone of a buffalo and jaws of a shark), to various little brass trinkets and ancient motherboards. I shall be getting rid of all these things during this week.
If any of you want my ancient motherboards and 386, 486 and Celeron processor, please let me know. I hope they are in working condition. You can just take ‘em. I’m not selling anything.
I also found some of my old books… that I just don’t read anymore. I plan to donate these to a local library or to the IIT library if they take books on philosophy etc.
So if any of you need any old stuff, check with me. I just may have it. I will be putting up a list of stuff I plan to give out soon (once I have everything listed out).
Need to live a simple life. There’re just too many things to take care of and it’s just not worth it sometimes. Sometimes you just need to throw away all that junk, including the junk in your head. And that is the hardest bit.
Wishing all of you peace and sanity,
Prageeth
Boredom is eating me up. I’m tired of reading about Flex really. Is there anything I can do to entertain myself? Inaction is killing me. I can only imagine how long I would last in solitary confinement with absolutely nothing to do. I think I would go mad really. No contact nothing. What if I woke up one day and found out that I was the last human being on earth? Would all the past I had with the rest of my kind matter to me? Would I feel liberated and do things I would never have done ever?
I don’t really know the answers. But it feels so alone right now. Maybe because everyone else has something to do and I don’t. So I’m using this time to improve my typing skills as well as to program my subconscious on the positions of the keys on the keyboard. The thing about typing on word is that it would automatically correct whatever I type regardless of any errors present. Therefore I would be stuck in the illusion that I have typed the correct thing although I have not. This really sucks when it comes to improving my typing. But it makes the whole thing fun to read anyway.
By doing this I am encouraging my hands to work as fast as my mind. I know it is impossible though, judging by recent experiments in my dreams. I realized that sounds I heard during sleep from the real world were translated immediately into the dreams, corresponding to actions happening in the dreams. Since the dreams are made up in the mind, I can only assume that the mind works ultra fast to create these fantasies with the data it gathers in real time. This obviously means that the mind is much more powerful than any other computing mechanism ever invented.
Can we harness this raw power and use it for conventional computer systems? Perhaps if we can replicate the brains systems and mechanics on a computer we may be able to achieve this. But this would involve much faster processing than our current processing systems. According to Buddhist studies, the mind can only think of one thing at any given moment. And a moment is only a fraction in time. How long is a moment? We do not know.
I just realized that by tapping into this insanely fast processing system, we can become computers ourselves and get our minds to do amazing feats and be almost 100% correct at all times… also to act faster than we usually do. I suppose even our sense readings are slower than the actual processing speed of the mind. This means that the neuro-conduction velocity, if beaten by conscious processing of the mind, would lead to things appearing to move in slow motion or rather some sort of a time variation flux. What I mean by that is our perception of time and change in time would change in such a manner that we should be able to perceive events in better depth and richness; hence super-reflexes and apparent omniscience.
Is this perfection of our ability the “superpowers” we hear about in ancient texts? I do not know. I have heard the stories of people gaining supernatural powers like omniscience and telepathy… this could all just be the brain processing more information the senses perceive from the surroundings than a normal brain would. Such individuals would be perceived as having “supernatural powers” and be worshipped as gods even.
So telepathy may just not be what we think it is. It may not be an actual transmission of thought, but rather one brain recognizing many physical factors of the other person at supernormal speeds, constructing conclusions out of the enormous amount of data it collects in such a short span of time. I have noticed my subconscious doing this, especially when I solve problems intuitively. Intuition may just be logical thought (as we usually think) but accelerated into extreme speeds of execution by the subconscious.
The subconscious, being essentially an automated part of our psyche which acts as the interface between the consciousness and the senses can be programmed to handle tasks. After all, it handles the tasks of walking, drinking, eating etc, which requires many parts of the body to function in unison. This synchronized activity, when replicated in robots have proven to be quite complex in nature. If you don’t believe me, try making a robot that can walk on two legs. There are so many factors to consider for that simple operation such as muscle movement, balance and direction. All these little factors are automatically calculated by the subconscious and executed, allowing us to perform actions without really focusing on them. All the conscious mind has to do is to give out the order for their execution.
For example, as I type this essay I do not look much at the keyboard or the screen. Rather I look at the people surrounding me or what little I can see of the street outside the office window. I have successfully programmed my subconscious on the function of typing, including various positions of the keyboard and can now type as if the keyboard is an extension of my body. The same thing happens when I drive my car. The car feels as an extension of my body. I don’t focus on shifting gears or steering. It happens automatically. I consciously make decisions on where I want the car to go, and my subconscious performs the actions necessary such as small steering, acceleration and gear adjustments. That’s how we function.
Using this theorem, it is possible to program your subconscious to do any kind of task that you like. For example, it is useful in martial arts, where you can program it to execute the necessary muscle movements and balance shifting for a kick. Let us say that this is a roundhouse kick. We program the subconscious by practicing this kick mindfully over and over again. Eventually, the subconscious absorbs this knowledge and all the conscious mind as to do is to make the decision to perform a roundhouse kick. Even more advanced is the fact that you can program your subconscious on the events that would trigger this action automatically. For example, you can program it to execute a roundhouse kick when the opponents head is open in a certain position.
The result is amazingly fast “reflexes” and automated fighting. This can be applied to so many physical and mental activities. We have taught our subconscious to talk automatically when we desire to express ourselves. We can teach it to add numbers, multiply etc etc. And if we are able to harness the speed it can give us, we can indeed become superhuman.
I suppose that is enough boredom-induced writing for awhile.
Filed under: Ramblings
I’ve sinned. A lot.
Not talking in a biblical sense really. But I’ve not been treating myself well. Those of you who know me know that I’ve been working very hard on a lot of things. This meant that I didn’t really take care of myself for the past couple of weeks… which is probably why I got so sick. It was a tough case of Viral flue, bordering on the likes of dengue. I grew very weak throughout the last week and just got out of the whole circus of sickness. Although my blood-counts are back to normal, I still have to rest more than usual to come back to my fully operational state.
My daily routine has not been the most intelligent. I woke up too late, worked until late and slept even later. I wasn’t even paying attention to my body properly, even though I did meditate to clear my head. Evidently clearing the head isn’t enough. One needs to attend to the body and to look after it in order for it to be healthy. Why do I keep missing the fundamentals? I don’t know. It’s only human to forget these things I guess.
Most of my muscles have become weak since I’ve not done any sort of exercise for the past three months. My body has decayed into a shapeless blob in most places and my muscles twist and sprain easily. This is just too much to bear. It is an obvious sign that I must seek balance between working life and physical fitness.
So begins another bout of rigorous training to build my body back to something stronger. I need a strong mind and a strong body if I am to do what I am supposed to do daily. Or I’ll just get sick again. I’m tired of dragging a half-functional husk around with me, aching and groaning as bits and pieces fail to function. I don’t want to grow old before my time.
So where do I start? I just recovered from a severe bout of fever and the good doctor advised me not to lift weights at least for about two weeks. So I suppose this week would consist of stretching and light calisthenics, to get my major muscle groups working properly and back in shape. A bit of Yoga and what little of Tai Chi I know should also help. I have also resumed eating smart, paying attention to my body. Something I’ve not been doing enough.
So this short ramble then, is dedicated to yet another new chapter in my life. Back on the road baby! YEAH!
Filed under: Ramblings
There is nothing in my head when I write this save for the usual whirlwind of thoughts that form random patterns through the chaos so that you may see what you may call intelligence. I don’t really care what I am about to type in the next few sentences. Consider this letting off steam since I am so overworked these days and pressure is a new concept to me. I will not lie to you, I am a slacker. I don’t work. I don’t like work. Hard work is a taboo for me, much to my mothers’ displeasure. But I’m being honest. I could always pretend to say “laadidaadidaaa… I love working hard!” but I won’t. Sometimes I do love working hard, but it gets a little old after awhile. However, the nature of my current employment allows me to tackle a wide variety of problems that have to be solved logically, even if it means diving into the deep end of the class-heirarchy. If you don’t know what classes I’m talking about, please refer to object oriented programming.
So I was just chilling out yesterday, when I realised that I wasn’t really chilling out, but listening to music. I spent two hours watching Deus Ex Machina on youtube while I should have been sleeping. Yes I needed my sleep. But my desire kept me awake. Now I feel like excrement.
So then I asked myself “omgs prageeth wtf lol?” and then firmly told myself that I should fight these desires to stay up and resume my sleep schedule. I need my sleep. I go crazy without my sleep. And I also need at least one hour per day totally devoted to me, where I freely muse over things without any distraction. This is how I relax. This is how I relieve my stress. But do I get it? NOOOoooo. I could just blame the world outside and say “omfgs this world sux0rz lolololololololol” and place further blame on my hectic work schedule… but I realised that I am to blame. I have free time, it’s just that I don’t spend it properly. I also realised that I should prioritize what I do during this free time, since sanity is more important than entertainment. Alas, I have also discovered Ghost In the Shell on youtube… something that seduces me to stay up at night (youtube streams faster at night). Again of course, it is my problem to deal with these things.
Why am I putting this up? I thought it would be nice for everyone since some of you have been wondering how I am, what I have been doing and what I am up to etc etc etc. So putting this little ramble up is a good thing, believe it or not.
I have been questioning myself lately, to know who I am and what I like. The answers are inconclusive as I seem to like different things at different times. I also do not seem to have a static personality that I can call “ME”. Can I call the bad-mood-guy, me? Or shall I call the hyper-guy, me? Or is it the thinking-guy? I do not know. The quest for identity goes on. I accept that everyone is diverse. But I noticed that most people I see have static personalities. But the deeper I get to know them, the more dynamic they are. This supports the theory of change. So can we conclude that static people do not exist?
Then there are the cheeseburgers. I like cheeseburgers from McDonalds. I know it is not healthy and it will kill me eventually. But I like it. Sometimes (especially late at night or early in the morning) I crave cheeseburgers. ICH WILL!! ICH WILL!!! And I admit that somedays, I rush over to Mc D’s late at night to get a cheeseburger. Does one deny himself his cravings? Why should I? I’m not a monk.
I’ve not had lunch with anyone at office for a very long time, hence have not “bonded” with most of the crowd. This is because I get lunch at home, which is a short walk from office. Perhaps I shall become a social outcast again? Is this my fate? :O
And then there are people who annoy me. A lot of people have been annoying me over MSN, Google and Facebook. Especially facebook. I have told this before and I shall tell this again: I absolutely detest facebook chat. It’s annoying, incoherent, unstable, ugly and just plain gay. Really. (I do not wish to offend any of you who may be homosexual, but “gay” is a term that is synonymous with “boring/hopeless” in my day-to-day use).
Life however, is not boring. It’s just that it gets a little frustrating at times when I don’t have enough quality time to spend on myself, doing the things I used to do before I started working. I do play counterstrike at times. But nothing relaxes me more than a good hour of meditation. Ah that is so awesome. Just thinking about it makes me feel happier.
Thing about approaching the ultimate truth is, you never look at things the same way after you’ve seen it. Everything appears in a different light as your paradigm shifts. The things that you thought are important don’t seem to be important. What you hated doesn’t seem to be hateworthy. Where you’re going may not be where you’re really going. It is a strange yet simple thing, the truth.
I shall stop now, before everyone collectively brands me as insane.
Thank you for reading. 
Filed under: Ramblings
OMG HAI!!!!!
First and foremost, please accept my humble apologies for not writing anything for a long time be it on my FB notes or on my blog. If you cannot accept this apology, go fly.
So I’m writing this directly after my birthday, which was yesterday. I just turned 22. Twenty-bubblegum-two! (it’s better than saying the F word is it not?) and I feel so old. I mean come on, 22??? It totally makes me so old. And this whole dodging proposals thing (as some of you may know already) was annoying enough. I can’t say “let me grow up!” cuz I am grown up. :S But I do manage to snake myself out of the problem. Ah the complications of life…
So now I’ve started my 3rd year at IIT, which also means that I am not at IIT but in my industrial placement, which I’ve been doing for a month. It’s a software company called Aeturnum. Google it for details. All I’m going to tell you is that it is walking distance from my place (so 0 transport costs!) and also is right next to the local Mc Donalds (cheeseburgers FTW!!!) and KFC.
Working is a different experience. I mean I have done a couple of part time jobs but they were never in offices. The whole office thing was totally new to me, since I can’t really act the same way I act in college for example. You won’t see me skidding along the corridors at office! (Although I did a cartwheel for the fun of it one morning when the office was deserted).
Also there are other things looming in the horizon which means a lot to me… but more on that later.
Hehhehhahhihehehaeiehihaeihehhiaeihoohehahiehoaoehohooahehaahhehehaha!
Academic-wise, I still don’t know what I should do for my final year project, let alone my Masters. I was thinking of developing some sort of a build tool like ANT or Maven… but I dunno. Let’s see. I’m still working on my keylogger when I have time… although implementing it in C++ was tougher than I thought. The VB version was ok… but buggy. Ugh. Perhaps Java?? Hmmmmm…….
So other than that there have been a couple of good things that did happen over the past few months. For example my friends from NUS showed up and we had a “gala” time meeting up randomly on a couple of days. My cousins from USA and Canada visited as well as some cousins from Kurunegala (who hardly ever come to Colombo). Two of my cousins got married (then I felt really old) which was kinda fun I must admit (although I generally avoid weddings) and happy (I am getting old aren’t I? *sigh*). Then Panzer finally got his Rabies vaccine for this year; hopefully it will work (at the rate that guy gets into fights….).
I haven’t gamed in ages. I seriously mean in about a month or so. I feel so… not me. Not even NFS. Nothing. Minesweeper doesn’t count. Was thinking of playing a bit of CS online during the weekend but I then realized that my time was better spent elsewhere. I had configured my PC gamepads to work for Halo to get an Xbox-like effect… but I couldn’t try that out properly yet. I am getting old aren’t I?
What else? Hmm… some friends came back from abroad after a long time and some left (yes Maheshi, you included). I did a huge re-arrangement of my room and threw out most of my old stuff (mostly junk) and saved room for new things. Got most of my stuff repaired (including parts of the stereo system to help my chill out with awesome music). I am slowly turning my room into a lounge/club for my personal enjoyment, although it lacks a minifridge and a sofa.
What else… hmmmmmmm
Got a couple of new songs written and got music composed to them. Recorded some of it and we’ll probably put some on youtube (with footage of us playing). Viewer (and listner) discretion is advised. Use earplugs if necessary. We decided to change the name of our “band” (if you can call an on-and-off musical-gathering of three guys that) from “Citemhtira” to something else. We haven’t decided on the new name yet… but we’ll come up with something I’m sure.
So yeah the present is mellow for the moment but the future seems to be full of new and exciting things (again… you’ll get to know soon!) so I am looking forward to a lot while trying to live in the present. If I did snap at you around the last few weeks I’m sorry. I just haven’t had enough rest and you know how that is. Getting used to it. Heh heh.
Until next time, be good and eat your greens. Mallung FTW!!!!
Prageeth the Ping Pong Puppy
Filed under: Ramblings
Oh hai.
I is wraiting this lettah to yuos alls cuz I is board rofl!
Okay enough of lolcatspeak…. Thing is, I’ve become a bit of fan of the lolcat fad since of late, after my introduction to:
http://icanhascheezburger.com/
Check it out! Yuos will laik it I swears!
I was kinda sick on Friday and Saturday… couldn’t function properly… something was very wrong with my biological system because I felt dizzy and unstable… But since of this morning I feel bettah!
Pity I missed CS on Friday though L…
So this week finds me immersed in Event-Driven programming… it being one of my least favorite subjects… not that I don’t like the technical or philosophical aspect of it… its just that the lecturer was… well… not very enthusiastic during class. Not enthusiastic @ all. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz……
But it is unwise to say such things about ones lecturer so I work my shoes off (yes, those old worn out shoes I wear for class everyday) trying to master the concepts…
I was pleasantly surprised today by a large bowl of Varaka during lunch. Now I didn’t expect that at all! I like my Varakaz pure and uncorrupted by the likes of salt and pepper (but am generally disappointed since everyone else likes it corrupted), and I am glad that I now have access to such a large amount of virgin Varaka….
These days find me with stranger dreams as usual… ones usually involving friends of mine doing the most ridiculous things… such as singing “Nessun Dorma” with me while I was climbing a tall wall just to sit on a ledge there… Then there were a couple of funnier dreams with Vampires in ‘em. Now these guys were scary because they literally were corpses with fangs (dressed in corpsey attire) walking around, and the one I met gave me the most pervy smile (the kind a foreign pedo would give a kid on a Negombo beach) to which I reacted perfectly unalarmed somehow and managed to give him the directions that he wanted. ‘Tis what one does when one is an usher of a Vampire convention…
Exams will span for three more weeks, and I eagerly await their end. I have some plans for this holiday, like to spend a couple of days on a beach holiday (with or without friends. Depends on my mood.) writing loads and loads of stuff… And then I was thinking of doing a couple of Youtube skits cuz I have these… “ideas” in my head that I would like to see performed before I hit the dust. By hitting the dust, I mean dying. Lol.
Also, I am kinda planning to work on my own keylogger…. ]:)
Well if anyone wants to meet up for an outing, I’ll be free after the 2nd of June, so just message me over MSN or FB or phone or whatever. And pray that the dates and plans do not clash with mine… 
Kthxbai!
Prageeth
Filed under: Ramblings
Hey guys and gals and intermediates,
It’s me, your friendly Neighborhood (Copy) Ninja here, giving a general update about what’s in and what’s out in my mediocre life. MEDIOCREEEEE!!!!!
Firstly I must tell you that there’s something that’s taking a lot of time and energy in my life right now, and that it’s the number one priority of mine… exams. I love ‘em. I love ‘em to death. My death. Yeah.
Secondly, I got a new computer… it’s a HP Business Notebook…. Here are the specs:
Intel Core Duo 1.83 Ghz
2.49 GB RAM
Mobile Intel 945 Chipset (onboard VGA… L)
And it also comes with Windows f***ing VISTA!!! VISTA???? OMGs WTF?????
I’m going to get XP and some form of Linux installed on this…
I don’t plan to use it for gaming though… just programming, video and sound editing and stuff like that. The screen is waaay too small for gaming…. BUT I will have CS 1.6 Installed for “special occasions”. XD
Thirdly, I plan to keep my old laptop for gaming, and will also experiment wildly with it (since the company ain’t gonna take it back and nobody’s gonna buy it). LAPTOP SPRAY-PAINTING FTW!!!!
Well I have my first paper tomorrow (Object Oriented Programming) so I have to go now. Thanks for reading. I know this post isn’t up to my usual standards.
Deal with it. 
Sippi katu,
Prageeth
Filed under: Ramblings
They will not let me sleep. They will never let me sleep. They will only allow naps.
Who are “they”? Why, the external world of course. I am begging to assume that they are all connected in a global scale, bent on a conspiracy of depriving me of my sleep. I need my sleep, for it is one of the many things that keep me sane. But no, I am deprived of it.
Sleep is essential to us all, as it is the phase where almost everything, save for the vital functions, go to rest. It is when the body and the mind are set into a “recharge” mode, with relaxed brainwave patterns and whatnots. Everyone likes to sleep, especially after a very long and stressful day. I am stating the obvious again. But this is purely to impress upon you the necessity of sleep.
But am I allowed to access the full potential of sleep? No! Deep sleep is something I have not known for sometime. Each night is full of interruptions, be it from nonsensical dreams, insects, parents, cousins, the sibling, friends, the phone, the cook or the dog. I find some peace in the early hours of the morning however; but that peace is short-lived, for other members of my family hastily awaken me with a series of loud knocks on my bedroom door accompanied by a rain of reminders of what I have to accomplish. As a result I have developed into a non-morning person. Yes, I am very very cranky in the morning.
Alas, I try to ensure a good night’s sleep, but it is something that evades me, and is also something I have to live with. L
